Here at Solamar, we have started a new interview series on our blog. Titled, “Movers and Shakers,” this is an opportunity for us to introduce you to some of our amazing clients. These are clients that are changing the world, one client at a time.
Today, we want you to meet Tracy Nicholas. Nicholas is the author of “Is Your Child ‘Really’ Fine? How to Know and How to Help”. This book addresses the often sensitive topic of bullying, and does so in a comforting and understanding manner. Nicholas is clearly a mom who has “been there” and wants to share her knowledge and how she navigated a difficult period in her family’s life.
Currently, Nicholas is in the process of writing her second book, and we thought this was the perfect time to sit down with her.
Aubrie Andrea: Can you tell us a little bit about your business? How did it get started?
Tracy Nicholas: I discovered my children were being bullied when they were telling me they were “fine”. Even though we all hear too much about bullying in the news — when it happens in your family, sometimes you can feel like you are the only one going through this. As a parent, it can create all kinds of feelings. It can even create the feeling of, “What did I, as a parent, do wrong?” Or, “How did I fail my child?”
The last thing as a parent that you want is for your child to be bullied or to be the bully. Many children who bully have been or are experiencing bullying themselves.
I was looking for help for my children and I could not find the help I was longing for. I did not want the standard ‘Stomp Out Bullying’ info.
In my research for the book which I was encouraged to write, “Is Your Child Really Fine? How to Know and How to Help,” I discovered that 60% of children who are being bullied do not tell anyone. This made me sad for both the parents and the children and then I got mad because I am talking about a subject many parents do not want to talk about and they are in denial.
I am speaking for the children until the parents will listen.
I have spoken to many parents who were sure their child was not being bullied who later contacted me and shared that their children were being bullied and they did not know.
AA: What motivates you each day to do better?
TN: As a wife and mother of three children, I am really focused on what kind of world am I going to leave to my children, grand children and so on. I am so grateful for all of the sacrifices that my ancestors made so that my family can experience the life we enjoy today.
I believe that we can build on that foundation and create a peaceful world and I see clearly that each of us plays a very important part in that goal.
The first thing we have to do is wake up to how our own bullies are keeping us from having peace in our daily lives so that we can then help our children. Babies are not born bullies. Bullies only bully others because they are hurting on the inside themselves.
I have come to love the bully; for it is through loving and forgiving the bully… and helping all of us to awaken to the parts that we each play… that we can truly have a beautiful, peaceful world.
Yes, it a big dream.
I am grateful for the thought leaders who held the visions of all the things that we take for granted, like this computer, that most of us use daily. Back in the 1940’s, you would have been called a complete lunatic had you predicted what’s currently possible. In 1949, John von Neumann, respected mathematician, declared that the limits of the computer had been reached. Remember that back then computers used to take up entire rooms.
So, I am choosing to be a part of the solution and not the problem.
Everything that we see in this world was first held in the thoughts of people and I hold the vision of a peaceful world for myself, my children, your children and for all of us.
AA: How do you keep your business centered? Meaning, how do you stay true to your brand?
TN: I chose my brand, The New Bully, because the bullying that is going on today is becoming much more sophisticated and under the radar than what we grew up with. Technology has made it a 24/7 challenge where it used to be mainly connected with school or outside your home. Now, it can show up in your child’s bedroom at all hours.
AA: Who has influenced you the most over the years?
TN: I have always loved what Walt Disney created. He created a place that gave adults permission to be a kid again. I have always believed that if all of us would access the wise heart of the loving child that we were born with, that we all truly have a hope of co-creating the peaceful world. I read in your blog where Linda Jones read “Think and Grow Rich” at a young age… I was given that book as a teen by my mother. Along with Walt Disney and Napoleon Hill, we can all think and grow rich in a peaceful and beautiful world.
AA: What is the ultimate goal of your business?
TN: Helping families create more meaningful connections in their daily lives and to trust their inner compass in ways that are fun and easy.
AA: What advice would you give to yourself 10 years ago?
TN: I would tell myself to not be so hard on myself… to not bully myself. That I am really proud of myself and that even though I make mistakes, I pick myself up and brush myself off and begin again. I would tell myself to continue believing in the good in the world, to listen closely to my inner compass and that we can make a difference working together.
AA: Thank you, Tracy.
To hear more about Tracy’s work, or to see how we can support you in YOUR work, drop us a line!